Last month I took my 3 year-old on one of those rare road
trips without my husband. My aunt invited us along for the trip
and without really thinking through all of the details, I said yes. I was
so happy to spend time with my family, especially with my husband working out
of town that day. It seemed like so much fun! Then I got in the car
and realized that I was spending hours with two very talkative and opinionated
children…my 3 year-old and one 14 year-old. The 14 year-old listened to
music, taunted the toddler with games, and tried really hard to participate in
adult conversations before being told to go to sleep by his mother. My 3
year-old refused to share his snacks but demanded that his cousin be fair and
share his. The toddler also insisted that his cousin stop interrupting
the adults, at one point telling his big cousin to “stop talking to your mother
that way!”
Mid-trip, I was laughing myself silly but got really nervous
at thought of taking these two out of the car and exposing them to the world
outside…would others find their banter funny or annoying? My aunt looked
at us with love but I am sure she might have also been rethinking her
decision to invite us! As we approached our destination, my aunt looked at
my 3 year-old and asked if he was going to talk the entire time.
Of course, that was a no-brainer because he literally did talk, sing, and
commentate the entire trip, even insisting that my aunt, the driver, “speed up”
and “hurry up” through the green lights (oh yes, my child has a bit of road
rage)!
Finally we reached my other cousin’s house and that’s where
my decision to be spontaneous in travel faced its toughest test! I
totally forgot how neat, organized, and strict my cousin is, as a retired member of the US Navy. Here I go taking my child into their new home! Also, the
two road trip buddies have a run-in with the neatest 6 year-old on the
planet (my cousin’s sweet baby girl)! With the three of them, it literally
took ALL of the adults to keep peace and to ensure that my cousin’s home was
left in livable condition. I had a great time but the visit is still a
blur because I spent so much time trying to keep track of my toddler. (I
still have flashbacks of my cousin following the toddler around picking up
crumbs and trying to keep all of the children safe and happy.)
I then started to feel very inadequate because we have a
very large family with more than 20 grandchildren and most of us grew up
together traveling around the country spending extended time with each
other. That meant that, especially during the summers, our parents might
have multiple children, not just visiting, but staying with them for
weeks at the time…and they made it seem so easy!
With the memories of growing up, I have come to realize that
our parents were just as overwhelmed as we are but they had each other.
They trusted their parents, siblings, in-laws, and friends to be important
influences on us and to this day we have strong bonds with everyone who helped
to shape our lives. It is now our generation’s time to work together to
build that same foundation for our children. As overwhelming as the trip
was, it was worth every minute to ensure that my child knows his extended
family and is able to benefit from the support, discipline, and example that my
family and in-laws can provide. That is the only way to help our children
avoid and get through the pitfalls of life. It truly is a family
affair!
If you're like me, your Facebook and Twitter feeds have been overwhelmingly populated today with the hashtag #GivingTuesday, and I must say this warms my heart. As someone who has worked for, volunteered for, and served on boards for non-profits in the Midlands, I was excited to see this initiative. So what is #GivingTuesday? Here is a little bit of info from the Giving Tuesday website: 
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