A Letter to My 16-Year-Old Self

Dear 16-Year-Old Me,

Hello there! I’m you, 10 years in the future. Yep, you sold out and went to college and got a real job instead of becoming a rock star like you thought you would. It’s okay. At this point in your life you’ve already mourned that dream and decided you don’t have the tolerance to live in a van for months at a time. You like stability and going to bed early now. In fact, you even voluntarily attended--get ready for this--GRAD SCHOOL.

I know, I know, you don’t believe me. You’re sitting in algebra right now, wearing those skater shoes from PacSun that Mom tried to throw away because they were so old but you went and fished them out of the garbage without her knowing. You’re probably going to your shift at Dairy Queen after school where you’ll mumble under your breath about how much you can’t stand the ho-hum of suburbia. When you get home Mom will ask how your day was and you’ll answer her in as few words as possible, then retreat into your room and turn on the stereo. You’ll probably fall asleep thinking about Joe, your first boyfriend.

16-year-old me working at Dairy Queen

I have so much to tell you, young me, and I’m not quite sure I can convey how desperately I want you to listen. You don’t do that very well, do you? You’re right about everything, because you think growing up in suburban New Jersey has bestowed upon you all the worldliness one could hope for. But stay with me here.

You’re going to move to South Carolina after college and realize you had a very privileged childhood. You’re going to start listening to country and you will like it. You will adopt an overweight orange cat. You’ll love him. And you’ll also start working at the South Carolina Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, where you’ll help communities encourage their teenagers to make smart choices. And when you’re sitting where I am right now (and you will be, because you’re me!) you’re going to think about those kids you’re trying to reach. You’re going to wince when you remember just how invincible you thought you were, when in reality, you were just one bad decision from having it all turn out so differently. You’re going to want those kids to listen.

You’ll see the efforts the SC Campaign is trying to make and you’ll pray those kids realize there is so much more to life than high school. You hope they won’t be like you and take their education for granted. That they’ll have enough wisdom and foresight to know that the decisions they make now will follow them into the future.

How do I know all of this? Because I was you once, and let me fill you in on a few things. First, Joe is going to dump you. In the hallway. On your way to algebra. You’ll be devastated, you’ll write some bad poetry, but trust me, you’ll get over it, and by the time you’re here you won’t even remember why it hurt so much.

School is important. Stop asking when you’re ever going to use equations in the real world and just study, for crying out loud. You’re not bad at math; you just need to work harder than everyone else. Keep on truckin’ --you’re going to get an A in graduate level statistics.

Your friends aren’t the most important people on the planet. There are things you’re doing now that you’ll regret later. Mom and Dad were right about mostly everything. Oh, and Mom? You’re only going to have another eight years with her. Try not to take her for granted.

You won’t get this letter in time. But hey, that’s why I got to write it.

Love,
You

by Amanda Pollak, Graduate Assistant, SC Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy 

Introducing NotRightNowSC.org!

Our new website is almost here and we're getting pretty darn excited! Here are the top five things we're looking forward to about launching the new notrightnowsc.org in April.

1. It's mobile friendly!

Anyone who knows a teen will agree they're constantly connected, and the research backs it up. According to the PEW Research Center, 74 percent of teens access the Internet on a mobile device. Not only that, 25 percent of teens access the Internet primarily on a mobile device. Which means if we aren't mobile, one in four teens might never see our site at all!

2. We'll have information for pregnant and parenting teens.

For the first time, we've expanded our audience to include pregnant and parenting teens. Sure, we want to keep our young people from getting pregnant. But if they do, we want to help prevent a second pregnancy, encourage the parents to stay in school, and give them resources to keep their baby healthy and safe. 

3. We're including teen voices. 

We're giving teens a place to contribute their writing, art, and other creative ideas. Because who knows better what it's like to be a teen than a teen?

4. Teens will be able to use our site to find resources across the state. 

We've had some great success with the "Not Right Now, Put Pregnancy on Pause" campaign in Spartanburg and Horry counties. Thanks to all their hard work, we're able to take this brand state-wide and provide some really great resources for our young people. 

5. We're encouraging parents to learn and start the conversation. 

Parents should be their child's primary health educator. That's why we're pulling parents into this easy-to-use, jargon-free website that will help give them the tools to talk to their children about love, sex, and relationships and hopefully guide their child to informed, responsible decisions. 

by Kylee Perez, Communications Specialist, SC Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy

What's LGBTQ Got to Do With It?

Last month, I got the opportunity to present a webinar for the SC Campaign, “Meeting the Healthcare Needs of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning (LGBTQ) Youth.”  This is a research area that I am very passionate about, and I am well-versed on the literature on this topic. My dissertation even focused on the health outcomes and communication practices of this population. The webinar went extremely well and at the conclusion, I gave the audience an opportunity to ask questions. I found it ironic that three people asked me the same thing: “What does LGBTQ youth have to do with teen pregnancy?” This question was quite baffling to me, as I thought I illustrated the relationship between sexual health outcomes and LGBTQ youth in my presentation.

After weeks of pondering, I felt this was a question that needed to be addressed and a myth that needed to be dispelled.  LGBTQ youth, also referred to as sexual minority youth, are at risk of getting pregnant just like any other youth. It is quite ignorant to believe that someone who identifies as LGBTQ cannot get pregnant or has no interest in pregnancy prevention. Research shows that lesbian and bisexual females are two to seven times more likely to experience an unintended pregnancy than their heterosexual counterpart. That’s right… lesbian and bisexual youth are more likely to get pregnant than a heterosexual adolescent. Furthermore, lesbian and bisexual females are about as likely to have sex with a male partner as a heterosexual female, yet more likely to experience an unintended pregnancy. This is due in part to inconsistent and incorrect use of contraceptives. This research highlights the need for teen pregnancy prevention programs and contraceptive counseling targeted specifically for sexual minority youth.

The take-home message here is this: just because someone identifies as LGBTQ does not mean that they are exempt or protected from pregnancy. We, as health professionals, educators, and providers, have an important role to play in improving the health outcomes and overall well-being of LGBTQ youth. It is imperative that we understand that LGBTQ youth and teen pregnancy go hand-in-hand because the same behavior, regardless of one’s sexual orientation, can contribute to this outcome.  So, if you want to know what LGBTQ youth have to do with teen pregnancy…this population has everything to do with teen pregnancy and should no longer be overlooked in prevention efforts.

To view the webinar mentioned above, click here. 

by India Rose, Post-Doctoral Fellow, SC Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy

Why Being Single on Valentine's Day Isn't All Bad

With Cupid's arrow quickly approaching, those of us who don't have a honey to spend the holiday with may be feeling a little down. There is no need for despair! There are lots of ways you can feel loved this Valentine's Day. Here's how:

1. Pamper yourself. Remember all that money you once spent on roses, chocolates, teddy bears and fancy dinners? Well, guess what? Now you can spend all that money on yourself! Live a little, schedule a massage or pedicure. Of if you're me, treat yourself to some shiny new disc golf discs!

2. Live up to your own expectations. I have experienced more than one Valentine's Day where I set my expectations too high. I expected to be whisked away on a romantic date at an Italian bistro or given a dozen roses, and instead, ended up at the Indian joint down the street (but don't get me wrong, I love Indian food any other day) So this year, set your expectations high and meet them yourself. This way, it's your own fault if you are let down!

3. Go on a friend date. Why not get all of your single friends together for a romantic dinner so you can enjoy singledom together? This sounds way more enticing than sitting on the couch, eating a box of chocolates and watching "The Notebook" alone. If you want to be corny about it and make the couples around you jealous, go around and say one thing you love about each of your friends. Go ahead, make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

4. You don't have to share. Head to the grocery store on February 15 and stock up on discounted candy that don't have to share with anyone!

5. Love yourself. Don't let yourself get down because you don't have a special someone to enjoy this year's Valentine's Day with. Take this time to reflect on what you love about yourself and how you can make your life as fulfilling as possible. 

We need to teach our young people that it's okay to be single - this is a great time to find yourself and discover what your passions are. So this year, if you find yourself alone on Friday night, don't sulk! Grab a box of candy hearts and let all of those compliments sink in! 

by Sara Lamberson, Corporate Communications Specialist, SC Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy

Advice from a gay guy to the straight guys about having kids...

So if you didn't know me or haven't met me before, let me start by admitting that yes, I'm gay, and I happen to care very deeply about the importance of preventing teen pregnancy. Friends and family are often surprised when I tell them about the work that I do, after all, my partner of 4 years and I, will never have to worry about an unplanned pregnancy. But that's the point I want to address with all those straight male readers out there. I want to give you some advice about what it takes to start a family.

Recently I read that Levi Johnston, famous for his relationship (and unplanned pregnancy) with Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol, just had his second child. When asked in an interview if this 2^nd pregnancy was planned he said “No, but uh, you know, things happen…” Things happen? Come on, man! Is that how babies are made? Have you been watching Disney’s Dumbo where babies were delivered by storks?!

Several of my family members have had children, and I love my nephews, niece, and cousin’s daughter all very dearly. In fact, I take great pride in being an uncle, shopping for birthday gifts is a blast every year and my relatives can count on Uncle Ryan to always give Dr. Seuss inspired books and toys or event better, baby sized Converse All Star (Chuck Taylor) shoes – passing along some of my favorite things to these wonderful children. But if you asked any of my family members, if they had planned to have kids, or in hind site, were they truly ready to have kids, I’m pretty certain all of them will admit that they were not ready to have kids at their age, even if they started at 25 and older with good careers and stable homes. Starting a family changes everything in life and guys need to prepare for that fact.

You see, intention to have kids, or another way of saying, planning when not to have kids, takes some effort. Using a condom takes a few steps starting with whether you actually have condoms available. Visiting a doctor to request hormonal contraception is not a difficult process for most individuals but takes effort to plan ahead. What is not difficult and costs nothing, is making the decision that you will wait to have sex, or deciding to take steps to delay pregnancy, until you are truly ready to have children!

See, if Levi Johnston, had been planning for when “things happen” was about to happen, he could have put on a condom or checked with his girlfriend about her contraception usage. That small step to plan a pregnancy or the delay of pregnancy, means the difference of having a child before you are ready to be a parent.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condemning Levi for having two children, both unintended, nor am I in anyway trying to imply that either child isn’t a wonderful addition to our planet. Each life that is born is precious and we should not demonize any child born as a result of the choices their parents made. But studies show, that when children are born to teen parents, their chances of growing up in poverty are higher, their health is often not as great, the cycle of poverty continues and the outcomes for the child are not usually as positive as when a child is born after careful family planning. The point being, if teens aren’t ready to start families because they are still teens, then we need to be helping support those teens decision to delay their families till they are ready to become adults.

Take it from a gay guy, who if he ever wants to have kids, will have to think long and hard about the choice between surrogacy or adoption, will have to save up thousands of dollars, employ lawyers and doctors to help get to a place where I can be a father… It will take a lot of planning and intention for me to have that child some day and to start a family with my partner. I will have to be absolutely sure about wanting to be a parent before I can start that process. Once I do become a father, I will love and support that child because I worked hard to reach a point where I was ready to start a family.

So my advice to straight guys, keep me in mind as you think about when you plan to start a family. You can’t just ‘you know, let things happen.’ You gotta put some thought and intention into your actions. You have to work just as hard NOT to have a child, as I have to work some day TO have a child. You gotta be willing to carry, and use, condoms to be sure that your not causing a pregnancy that you could prevent. You gotta have the guts to ask your partner if she is using birth control so you know whether she is taking her own steps to prevent pregnancy and then you still need to use the condom so you can prevent transmission of STDs.

by Ryan Wilson, Training Coordinator of the SC Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy

"You May Now HUG the Bride"

I attended a wedding this weekend where it was evident that the wedding was truly an event to celebrate life, love and family. It was one of those weddings that I walked away from feeling the love and not just wondering "geez, that was a pretty pricey wedding to celebrate a sham of a relationship...well at least the food was good"(and don't judge me, you have been to those weddings too). I suppose the beauty in the wedding that I attended was the fact that the brides' parents are still madly in love with each other and have an amazing relationship with their adult children. I was in awe of the way that the mother of the bride lit up when she was looking at her daughter walk down the aisle and the way the father of the bride was overwhelmed with joy to gain a son-in-law. When most fathers only see their responsibility as footing the bill for a wedding, this father actually officiated the wedding so that he could play a larger part in the ceremony.

These types of relationships are completely nonexistent for some young people; they never get to see what it is like for the adults in their life to have a healthy, loving and supportive relationship with anyone. Since most of my childhood was in a single-parent home, I often wondered what it was like to have both parents at home or even both parents in the same room without some sort of disagreement or evil-eye stare. One of our responsibilities is to teach young people about healthy relationships but shouldn’t we also be modeling those healthy relationships? All too often I see an adult in a completely unhealthy relationship, and they just can’t understand why their children are in the same kind of relationship. Young people not only need to know the factors related to a healthy relationship, they need to see them in real life. As adults we have a responsibility to practice what we preach to our young people. We can’t be engaged in unhealthy behaviors with our own partners such as cheating, lying, controlling behavior or abuse, and then lecture to young people about how they should avoid these behaviors in their own relationships.

After attending this wedding, it gave me hope – hope that all young people will have adults in their life that have loving, supportive and healthy relationships that they can aspire to have with their own partners. When young people have the opportunity to see what a healthy relationship looks like, they will be more likely to emulate these behaviors with their own partners. The bride and groom at this wedding are lucky enough to have these relationships in their life and they know how much they are loved and supported by their parents. Of course, the bride will always be her daddy’s little girl so at the end of the ceremony the father of the bride couldn’t help to revise the traditional script by saying “you may now HUG the bride.”

by:  Sarah Kershner, Project Coordinator for SC Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy

It is All About the Relationships

We read the news about teens in the United States:

• 47.4% had ever had sexual intercourse
• 33.7% had had sexual intercourse during the previous 3 months, and, of these;
• 39.8% did not use a condom the last time they had sex
• 76.7% did not use birth control pills or Depo-Provera to prevent pregnancy the last time they had sex  15.3%had had sex with four or more people during their life[1]

Those statistics terrify parents, faith leaders, educators, business leaders—and for good reason. The ramifications are more than we want to consider. In light of this, it is easy to narrow our focus. It is all about sex!

Many times that is where the fight centers. It is about sex! It is about teaching individuals not to have sex. It is about teaching individuals to use contraceptives when having sex. It is all about sex!

But it isn’t!

It is about the relationship! It is about the need that humans have to be intimate with another person, to feel desired and wanted and attractive and worthy. It is about being known by another person in the most intimate way possible. It is about being naked—physically and emotionally and know that you are safe!

It is about the relationship with parents, knowing that if you ask a question about sex you won’t be judged, ostracized or put on restriction. It is knowing that your teen is a lot like you were when you were their age—full of all the questions, fears, yearnings. It about allowing your relationship to grow and develop.

It is about the relationship with those who aren’t related to us, caring enough about the students in your class to know that what happens when they leave has as much to do with what they learn as what happens in class. It is knowing that if we don’t care enough about young people that we won’t have customers or workers in a few years, let along any one to pay for my Social Security!

It is about the relationships!

It is helping our young people make good decisions about their sexuality, but even more about how they navigate the troubled emotional waters. As Amber Madison reminded us at the recent Summer Institute, it all comes back to that note we used to pass in grade school: “I like you. Do you like me? Check yes or no!”

As important as it is for us to help our youth deal with questions about sexuality—and we must help them make smart, informed, wise decisions—we also have to help them answer the relationship questions. “How do you know when you are in love? “ “Why does it hurt so bad when she said no?” “Why won’t anyone ask me out?” These questions are just as important—if not more basic!

And a personal note: It is about the relationships! Having been involved with the SC Campaign for over 18 years (I started when I was 7!) it has been the relationships that have been so wonderful. The opportunity to meet individuals from around our state who are so committed to making a better future for our children, who daily seek to make a difference! To hear your stories gives me hope!

It is about the relationships with the incredible members of the board of the SC Campaign. (As the old geezer emeritus member I can say that!) This past year the Molly Talbot—who I first met when she was our graduate assistant—was the chair of the board. Watching her so ably lead us was a joy! (I do sound like an old geezer, don’t I?!)

And it is about the relationships! Next week we add our congratulations and best wishes to Forrest Alton and Heather Brandt as they celebrate their wedding! It is a great gift to both of them!

See, it is about the relationship!

by Rev. Don Flowers, Past Board Chair for the SC Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.

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[1] Youth Risk Behavior Survey.  http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/sexualbehaviors/index.htm

The Purity Ball Movement

The other day, I watched the National Geographic Channel series, TABOO. The episodes was about the rise of Purity Balls across the nation. If you aren't familiar with the concept, it's a formal ball where young ladies make a promise to remain a virgin until marriage. Their father places a promise ring on their finger to be replaced by a wedding ring from their husband. I watched father after father speak from their heart, sharing the hope that their beloved daughter would wait until marriage. A neighbor, who was watching it with me, made a backhanded comment about teen pregnancy. Naturally, I went into work mode and as I snapped back in my Jerry Maguire voice, "Show me the data", Professor Helen Fisher from Rutgers University pops on the screen and says, “research says that young girls who swear off sex, postpone for a short period of time, then impulsively have sex without any sex education.” Needless to say, I had to give my elevator speech on the power of Self-Efficacy. Self-Efficacy is a person's belief in his or her ability to succeed in a particular situation. (Albert Bandura) These young ladies have promised to abstain, but will they be taught the refusal skills and gain the self-efficacy to maintain that promise?

A while back, our CEO made a comment that shifted the way I approach my work. He said, “We must stop addressing teen pregnancy as a moral issue, but as a public health issue.” Personally, I respect the intention behind The Purity Ball Movement. Professionally, I question the impact they actually have on delaying the initiation of sex.

by Meredith Talford, Upstate Technical Assistance Specialist

Always be sure to Inspire, Connect, and Impact...

The kids are looking, so let's always Inspire, Connect, and Impact.

The stairs weren't this large, but Taylor, our blog manager, likes to exaggerate!

A few months ago, my then 2-year-old and I were walking downstairs at my Mother-in-Law's house.  I slipped while holding a glass of tea and, yes, I fell down the stairs. The rest of the family ­­­ FINE, I just lost my balance and dropped the glass.  My husband snickered because he knows how clumsy I can be, but everyone else was fine with my assertion that everything was ok….everyone except my 2-year old that is.  My toddler boldly inserts himself in the conversation and tells everyone to “WAIT…my Mommy FELL down those stairs RIGHT THERE and she fell LIKE THIS” – that’s when he goes back up the stairs and begins what turns into a live looped reenactment of my secretly not so flattering fall!!  No need for a You Tube video!  It was absolutely hilarious and made me realize that NOTHING gets past this kid.

All joking aside, as parents, teachers, counselors, social workers, and other youth-serving professionals, we should never take for granted how our words AND actions impact young people, especially those most vulnerable and at-risk.  None of us are perfect and young people KNOW THIS, so when we stumble or even fall, we must remember to show them how to persevere through difficult times, how to make tough decisions, and how to ask for help.

My immediate reaction to the fall was superficial…how do I look in this situation, how can I prove that I am really ok.  Yet, as adults, we always want kids to share, to be honest, and to listen.  Well, my toddler demanded that my true circumstances be brought to light.  And, really that’s what young people want…not to know all of our business, but to know that we care and are not judging them.  If we want young people to be open, then we must not be clouded by superficial notions of what things SHOULD look like, but be able to meet young people where they are and show our openness to what they have to say.

A few weeks ago, the SC Campaign hosted more than 350 youth-serving professionals at our 13^th annual Summer Institute, entitled Inspire, Connect, Impact.  We were grateful to have so many passionate adults willing to carve out some time to learn more about best practices in teen pregnancy prevention and other health/youth related efforts around the state and country.  Professional development opportunities like this shape our ability to effectively reach young people and to grow as mentors and role models for the next generation.

We can truly inspire, connect, and impact the lives of young people even as we constantly work our own way through the maze of life!

Kimberly Wicker is the Outreach Specialist for the SC Campaign.

More than a number...

 

 A couple starts going to therapy to work on their troubled relationship. The therapist asks the couple separately, "how often do you have sex?" The wife responds to the question "ugh, all the time...3 to 4 times a week" and the husband separately responds "hardly ever, only 3 to 4 times a week."

The story above is a great example of how data can be the same in value but completely different in context.  It is important to understand what numbers mean and not just understand the value of the data.  For instance, the newly released summary of the national Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS)[1] shows the percentage of students engaging in various risk behaviors including “never wore a bicycle helmet” and “in a physical fight on school property one or more times.” At first glance, the national findings may seem “normal” but when compared to the state of South Carolina, the findings paint a different picture.[2] 

·       *Nationally, 47% of high school students have ever had sexual intercourse.  That means that almost 5 out of 10 high school students have ever had sex.  This alone seems like a big number.  However, when compared to the percentage in South Carolina, this number doesn’t seem as large because 57% of high school students in the state have ever had sexual intercourse.  That means that in South Carolina, almost 6 out of 10 high school students have ever had sex.

·       Nationally, 15% of high school students have had sexual intercourse with four or more persons.  This is a certainly a cause for concern, however the findings in South Carolina are even more disturbing.  In South Carolina, 21% of high school students have had sexual intercourse with four or more persons. 

·         Nationally, 34% of high school students had sex three months prior to the YRBS survey.  This percentage doesn’t seem as bad when compared to South Carolina, where 42% of high schools students in the state had sex three months prior to the survey.

All of the above comparisons are examples of how data can be interpreted when we don’t take in account the context of the data.  It is important to also define “good” and “bad” so that when you first look at a number like “3 to 4” you can better understand whether that is “good” or “bad.”  When looking at the findings from the YRBS, one way to see how South Carolina students are doing in terms of their sexual behaviors is to compare the state to the nation or to other southern states.  Understanding the context helps someone better identify whether a number is “good”, “average” or “below average.”  The “average” can change from year to year or from state to state depending on the context of the data. 

I leave you with this thought: my husband is an avid outdoorsman and has been trying for years to get me to also love the outdoors.  I recently went fishing and caught a 1lb catfish that fought me like a 90 pound golden retriever.  I was beyond thrilled when I eventually pulled up the fish and thought that I deserved an Olympic medal.  My husband, who was excited that I was excited, was less impressed with my small catch.  He has caught fish over 60 pounds so to him a 1lb fish was considered bait fish.  So as you interpret data as “good”, “bad” or “average”, be sure that you understand the difference between the “bait fish” and the “big one.” 

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[1] Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance: United States, 2011. MMWR 2012;61(No. SS-4):1-162.

[2] Note – the findings from the YRBS have been rounded.

Teen Prom Decision Challenged by Uninformed!

Told ya'!

I like to believe I am an average (slightly neurotic), informed citizen in these United States.  I read the news, I watch CNN, and I talk to other informed friends about world happenings.  I thus, understand a few things as more true than others, 1) The North seems slightly less conservative than the South on many issues, 2) there is a current insurgence in media coverage of reproductive rights, and 3) I could never be a news anchor and not crack up constantly.  Seriously, anyone out there who knows me, do you see me on the news...without giggling?  “Tonight on News at 7, Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons”  (That, by the way, folks, is a true headline used in the news…found weapons…at a gun shop-well call me shocked!)

Anyway, with the following things above being mostly true, in my opinion (maybe minus the last one), it struck me when I passed an article the other day, in the Huffington Post, about a New York school that was changing its mind about handing out condoms at the prom.  You read that last part correctly-“changing their minds”, meaning prior to the “changing”, a school had decided TO provide condoms at the prom.  There was some vitriol responses from SOME parents and community members about the schools decision to provide condoms at the prom, with some stating it gave the teens “permission” to go and have sex after the prom. 

There are statistics that tell us in high school, around 46% of teens report having had sexual intercourse (at least once)-with more than 1/3 of all high school students reported being sexually active.   Nearly half (49%) of all high school 12^th graders (READ:  PROM GOERS) reported being sexually active compared to (21%) of high school 9^th graders.  So what does this data mean in relation to this report? 

More than streamers, folks!

Well, first it means that the school district had a good idea-because teens in high school are having sex, with or without protection.  Secondly, it means that those who were worried that giving condoms would give teens “permission to have sex” need not worry-teens aren’t waiting for anyone to give them permission.  Thirdly, it means that now, because of some misinformed people, teens who are going to be sexually active on prom night have to purchase their own condoms, get them from their local health center, or worse case scenario, have sex without protection. 

Folks, here in America, we have to stop and understand the statistics.  Teens are having sex.  And because teens are sexually active, if we don’t provide them with access to the correct protection, they run the risk of unplanned pregnancy, STDs or even HIV.  We have to stop worrying that teens are waiting on the “go ahead” from adults to have sex.  They aren’t-whether we like it or not.  And we have to understand that providing protection doesn’t mean that they are going to make the decision to have sex.  I applaud the original intention of the high school administrators who started this idea, and am astonished at the ignorance of the people who fought to get this option removed from the school prom. 

Americans, teens need more than streamers to have a safe prom night! 

The Greatest Love of All

“I believe the children are our future;
Teach them well and let them lead the way;
Show them all the beauty they possess inside;
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier;
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be...” 

- Whitney Houston

Early this year, the world stood still as we mourned the death of influential pop star and musical talent Ms. Whitney Elizabeth Houston. In the subsequent aftermath of her passing, I participated in several heated debates about her public life. However, I've noticed that all the people I've debated  Houston's life and death with have one thing in common - we all adore her version of "The Greatest Love of All".  Written in the late 70’s, the song is over 30 years old, but managed to find its way into my professional passion. 

No longer a young  person, I am now consumed by reports, deadlines, emails and observations in my professional life, I sometimes forget what it felt like when I was a teenager. Sometimes I was confident and secure in my choices at that age. At other times I wandered aimlessly and was confused about what to do next.

Fortunately, I was surrounded by a team of parents, church members and school counselors who equipped me with the tools I needed to make proud and responsible choices. 

This is what I love about the evidence-based program, Making A Difference. Two of the program's goals are to:

•  Increase participants’ ability to identify realistic goals for their future
  
•  Increase participants’ confidence about making proud and responsible decisions to protect themselves and their community from STD’s and unintended pregnancy.
  

To some, these goals may be just the lyrics to another pop song, but to me it is a charge to do my very best while working for the young people of South Carolina.  Teaching the children of this state about their potential and helping them find their senses of pride will ensure all our futures. This realization has given me an imperative I'm passionate about - Making A Difference is one of the "Greatest Loves of All."

- Meredith M. Talford, MPH, CHES, is the Upstate Training and Technical Assistance Specialist. E-mail Meredith at mtalford@teenpregnancysc.org.

Telling the Story Again

I am already wondering what I am going to do!  It is just a few weeks from Easter, that holiest day in the Christian year, that day in which everyone shows up!   We will bring out extra chairs, have special music, and know that our sanctuary will be full.

The problem is the sermon!  What am I supposed to say?  I have been the pastor at Providence Baptist for 15 Easters!  I have preached every Easter story at least 3 times.  You would think that people would know it by now!  Maybe this year I will use a different text -- perhaps Judges 11:29-40.

Can you imagine the uproar?  People come to church on Easter expecting to hear THE story!  It is one that every preacher feels compelled to use.  We don’t tell it the same way from church to church;  I won’t tell it the same way this year as I have before—but we will tell the story.   We will tell it because it is important, because we need to remember it, and because it forms the center of our faith.

It is the same story, but we continue to tell it.  That is what we do with the important lessons of our lives.  Yet many times when it comes to lessons about sexuality we fall into the delusion that we don’t have to worry about that since we had THE talk.
 
It is not THE talk.  It is a continuing conversation.  It is a conversation that stresses different points—from parts of our bodies, to sexual intercourse, to setting limits, to values.  These are conversations that take years to tell!  And so we need to return to them over and over and over again.  We need to do it for ourselves, but also for our families, for our world.

This year we are having one of those conversations again, the one concerning contraceptives.  Many times in the past few weeks I have heard people say, “I thought we made this decision 50 years ago?”  (I have said that myself!)  But have we had it since?  Have we explained that hormonal therapy isn’t just about birth control?  Have we had the conversation that explains that married couples choose hormonal therapy in order to be responsible parents?  Have we explained how using hormonal therapy is a way of caring for our world?  Have we had a conversation about the ethics of contraceptives?

We did have this conversation 50 years ago and now we are getting to have it again.  And we should!  Can you imagine a minister who said, “I did an Easter sermon 15 years ago.  We don’t have to do that again!”  The important conversations are those we have over and over and over again.  As we should! 

(And no, my text for Easter Sunday is not Judges 11.  It is John 20:1-18.  If you are in Charleston for the Family Circle Cup come by.  We are just down the street!  How’s that for shameless promotion?)

Rev. Don Flowers has been the pastor of Providence Baptist Church in Charleston for 15 years and is a former Board Chair of the SC Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.