Nowadays, they do more than talk on that phone...

As a mom of a two and a half year old, I have come to appreciate my smart phone - sometimes it's my only hope if I want to have a productive trip to the grocery store. Lucas loves the apps that are helping him learn his shapes, alphabet, colors, numbers and more. He is even better than I am at games like Angry Birds and Temple Run - it’s amazing how quickly he has picked up on  technology and the way he can navigate through my phone. But, his favorite app is YouTube because he can look up silly videos about trains or monster trucks and watch some of his favorite shows like Pokoyo and Spiderman.

However, as we all know, there is a lot of material on YouTube that you don’t want your toddler viewing. So, as a parent, I strictly monitor what Lucas is watching and playing with on my phone. Granted, he is two, but I think it is becoming increasingly important for parents of children of all ages to know what their kids are up to on their cell phones.


A new study by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy says that 20% of teens are now sexting – the practice of sending sexually explicit text messages to others. Because of my job this didn’t surprise me too much, but as a mother I hope this news will serve as a wakeup call to parents. Yes, I know teens need their privacy, and when Lucas gets to that stage in his life where he wants to go to his room and shut the door, I will come to grips with it. But, what teens also need is a parent – a parent who cares enough about their child to take a look at his/her text messages; a parent who cares enough to sign up for Facebook so they can monitor what is happening on their son/daughter’s page. A parent who cares enough to have difficult conversations.

No, as parents we aren’t always going to be our kids’ best friend. At times, they may really resent us; but I think that is what being a parent is all about. I remember times growing up when I thought, “my parents just don’t understand” or “this is so unfair”, but looking back, I now know it was called love. My parents cared enough about me and my future to set boundaries, to check in on those boundaries, and to talk to me about my friends and boyfriend (who is now my husband J).  
Teens are going to make mistakes along the way; heck, adults are going to make plenty of mistakes, but if I can educate my child on our family values, on the ways that improper use of cell phones and social media can hinder him from reaching his goals; I am going to do it – even if he doesn’t want to hear it.

By Cayci Banks, Director of Communications for the SC Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy

(Editor’s “Cheeky” Note: Someone in the Royal Family should care enough too! Latest scandal with Royal Family and Prince Harry is enough to show how dangerous data plans and camera phones can be! Don’t be like the Royals…keep up with your kids and teach them responsibility with their online presence!)

Let's Recap: Summertime Vetos and Reproductive Rights

 To say this summer has been a busy one for reproductive rights may be
putting it lightly. For those of us working in the field it has felt a bit like a battlefield.

While many were all out celebrating our nation’s freedom, the SC governor was constructing a veto that seemed to add insult to injury for victims of sexual assault. On July 5, Governor Haley released a list of vetoes including Veto 51 that cut $454,000 that was to be given to the SC Department of Health and Environmental Control (SC DHEC) to fund rape and sexual assault prevention programs across our state. To make matters worse, she claimed that providing these services to rape and sexual assault victims and their families was a distraction to the overall mission of DHEC. As if victims of rape and sexual assault do not feel isolated enough from society, Nikki Haley made a public statement that the small slice of normal they are given through the services of a victim advocate is nothing but a distraction for the community.

In a press conference held at the office of Sexual Trauma Services of the Midlands on Monday, July 16, representatives from both sides of the political sector were present. The message from all of them was clear: rape and sexual assault can affect anyone at anytime no matter one’s race, gender, age or political affiliation. While women are targeted at a much higher rate (1 in 6 women are directly affected), it is estimated that one in every 33 American men will become a victim of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime [1].

It is imperative that funding to prevent rape and sexual assault be maintained in our state. Sexual assault has the ability to change a person’s life forever. Sexually abused teens are more likely to run away from home, use drugs, and experience psychological changes in the brain [2]. In addition, sexually abused adolescents are more likely to experience a pregnancy than non-abused teens [2]. Sexually abused adolescents are also less likely to use condoms or other forms of contraception [2]. Providing funding to organizations and programs who work around the clock to provide assistance to victims and their families deserve our support.

  I am proud to report that 111 House members and 39 Senate members were able to overturn this veto. It is near impossible for me to put into words how proud and appreciative I am of those House and Senate members who not only understood the importance of funding rape crisis centers, but had the courage to stand up for the victims.

When a person is victimized by sexual assault, the entire community is affected. In order to strengthen our community, we must protect every member.

References
[1] Rape Abuse Incest National Network (RAINN), http://www.rainn.org/
[2] Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, 2004, 36(3):98-105. Found online: http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/3609804.html

Sports and Safe Sex...

As most Americans are doing these days, I try to avoid Olympic results on Facebook and Twitter so I can watch the games at night without already knowing the outcome. I am exhausted from staying up late, but it's worth it to watch Michael Phelps become the most decorated Olympian ever and to watch the Fab 5 (USA women’s gymnastics team) take gold in the team competition. What I have also loved about this year’s games are the commercials. P&G has done a great job of showing what it is like to be an athlete’s mom, Nike has shown us that there is greatness in us all, and Visa has portrayed some of the best Olympic moments – with the soothing sounds of Morgan Freeman as voiceover, of course. But, one advertisement you may not have seen, is a billboard that Durex condoms put up in London this month. The famous Olympic rings are condoms and the words are simple, “Usain, not every man wants to be the fastest in the world.” How true that is.

Durex serves as the official condom distributor of the Olympics, providing 150,000 to the Olympic village alone. Yes, you read that number right…150,000. Apparently, more happens at the Olympics than tumbling, swimming and fencing! At least we know safe sex is a priority.

What’s been your favorite commercial of the games?

 

by Cayci Banks, Director of Communications, SC Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy

New Generation of Communication....

While attending a recent youth workshop on social media hosted by the SC Campaign's FABULOUS Health Communications Specialist Taylor Wilson, I learned a few things about the art of social media. My discoveries included:


1) As a blogger, I tend to RANT. If you look back at any of my previous blogs on Personal Perspectives, you’ll notice that I’m often motivated to write because something or someone has ticked me off (see my blog on lingerie football if you don’t believe me). Fortunately for me, RANTS are a type of blog content that drive social engagement. Today, however, I’m choosing to LIST and discuss TRENDS. See? I’m learning! http://socialmediatoday.com/node/585646

2) My daily tweet totals (at both @upstateSC and @nrnspartanburg) contributed to the 16,000 tweets-per-second in 2012. (Yes. That is SECONDS. As in 60 seconds in a minute which results in 960,000 tweets-per-minute which results in 57,600,000 in an hour which results in numbers larger than I care to calculate!). http://socialmediatoday.com/your-social-move/438780/noteworthy-social-media-facts-begin-2012

3) Only 19.7% of the Facebook user-base is located in the United States. Hablas ingles, mi amigo? http://socialmediatoday.com/your-social-move/438780/noteworthy-social-media-facts-begin-2012

4) Twitter makes people better writers. While I tend to think I’m an excellent writer already, any of my college professors could tell you I had trouble with fluff, embellishment, and excess in my writing. (Notice how I just used three words there that basically all mean the same thing? Yeah. The profs noticed it, too.) Twitter forces you to say what you need to say in 140 characters or less so you must learn to be concise. This, of course, also means that what SHOULD say “Welcome to Not Right Now Spartanburg! We’re glad you’ve decided to be part of this amazing teen pregnancy prevention initative to improve our community and look forward to seeing what you bring to our team” will end up saying “Welcome 2 NRN Sptbg. Glad u joined teen preg prev work 4 our community. Get 2 work.” http://girlswithpens.com/2011/05/23/top-5-reasons-to-join-twitter/

5) I am old. In the world of social media, those of us who didn’t GROW up with it have much more trouble KEEPING up with it. My 13-year old niece taught me things I could do on my i-pad that I’d never known about. My 11-year old nephew added a baseball game app that now keeps flashing at me to do something with it. Young people aren’t afraid to try out something new and, in fact, are often looking for the even-better next thing out there.

Why did I choose to share all of this with you? Because, as one incredibly smart Health Communications Specialist I know shared, if we aren’t bringing the issue of teen pregnancy to the social media realm, we will quickly make ourselves irrelevant. And one of the best ways to bring the issue to social media is by engaging our young people using that platform.


To learn a little more about the power of social media, check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oi34kVUEL5c. Then post a video of your own. Share it on Facebook. Tweet it to all of your followers. Blog about it yourself. Let’s keep the conversation going and meet young people where they are. I’m sure there’s an app for that.

by Dana Becker, Spartanburg Community Specialist for the SC Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy

It is All About the Relationships

We read the news about teens in the United States:

• 47.4% had ever had sexual intercourse
• 33.7% had had sexual intercourse during the previous 3 months, and, of these;
• 39.8% did not use a condom the last time they had sex
• 76.7% did not use birth control pills or Depo-Provera to prevent pregnancy the last time they had sex  15.3%had had sex with four or more people during their life[1]

Those statistics terrify parents, faith leaders, educators, business leaders—and for good reason. The ramifications are more than we want to consider. In light of this, it is easy to narrow our focus. It is all about sex!

Many times that is where the fight centers. It is about sex! It is about teaching individuals not to have sex. It is about teaching individuals to use contraceptives when having sex. It is all about sex!

But it isn’t!

It is about the relationship! It is about the need that humans have to be intimate with another person, to feel desired and wanted and attractive and worthy. It is about being known by another person in the most intimate way possible. It is about being naked—physically and emotionally and know that you are safe!

It is about the relationship with parents, knowing that if you ask a question about sex you won’t be judged, ostracized or put on restriction. It is knowing that your teen is a lot like you were when you were their age—full of all the questions, fears, yearnings. It about allowing your relationship to grow and develop.

It is about the relationship with those who aren’t related to us, caring enough about the students in your class to know that what happens when they leave has as much to do with what they learn as what happens in class. It is knowing that if we don’t care enough about young people that we won’t have customers or workers in a few years, let along any one to pay for my Social Security!

It is about the relationships!

It is helping our young people make good decisions about their sexuality, but even more about how they navigate the troubled emotional waters. As Amber Madison reminded us at the recent Summer Institute, it all comes back to that note we used to pass in grade school: “I like you. Do you like me? Check yes or no!”

As important as it is for us to help our youth deal with questions about sexuality—and we must help them make smart, informed, wise decisions—we also have to help them answer the relationship questions. “How do you know when you are in love? “ “Why does it hurt so bad when she said no?” “Why won’t anyone ask me out?” These questions are just as important—if not more basic!

And a personal note: It is about the relationships! Having been involved with the SC Campaign for over 18 years (I started when I was 7!) it has been the relationships that have been so wonderful. The opportunity to meet individuals from around our state who are so committed to making a better future for our children, who daily seek to make a difference! To hear your stories gives me hope!

It is about the relationships with the incredible members of the board of the SC Campaign. (As the old geezer emeritus member I can say that!) This past year the Molly Talbot—who I first met when she was our graduate assistant—was the chair of the board. Watching her so ably lead us was a joy! (I do sound like an old geezer, don’t I?!)

And it is about the relationships! Next week we add our congratulations and best wishes to Forrest Alton and Heather Brandt as they celebrate their wedding! It is a great gift to both of them!

See, it is about the relationship!

by Rev. Don Flowers, Past Board Chair for the SC Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.

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[1] Youth Risk Behavior Survey.  http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/sexualbehaviors/index.htm

The Purity Ball Movement

The other day, I watched the National Geographic Channel series, TABOO. The episodes was about the rise of Purity Balls across the nation. If you aren't familiar with the concept, it's a formal ball where young ladies make a promise to remain a virgin until marriage. Their father places a promise ring on their finger to be replaced by a wedding ring from their husband. I watched father after father speak from their heart, sharing the hope that their beloved daughter would wait until marriage. A neighbor, who was watching it with me, made a backhanded comment about teen pregnancy. Naturally, I went into work mode and as I snapped back in my Jerry Maguire voice, "Show me the data", Professor Helen Fisher from Rutgers University pops on the screen and says, “research says that young girls who swear off sex, postpone for a short period of time, then impulsively have sex without any sex education.” Needless to say, I had to give my elevator speech on the power of Self-Efficacy. Self-Efficacy is a person's belief in his or her ability to succeed in a particular situation. (Albert Bandura) These young ladies have promised to abstain, but will they be taught the refusal skills and gain the self-efficacy to maintain that promise?

A while back, our CEO made a comment that shifted the way I approach my work. He said, “We must stop addressing teen pregnancy as a moral issue, but as a public health issue.” Personally, I respect the intention behind The Purity Ball Movement. Professionally, I question the impact they actually have on delaying the initiation of sex.

by Meredith Talford, Upstate Technical Assistance Specialist

Always be sure to Inspire, Connect, and Impact...

The kids are looking, so let's always Inspire, Connect, and Impact.

The stairs weren't this large, but Taylor, our blog manager, likes to exaggerate!

A few months ago, my then 2-year-old and I were walking downstairs at my Mother-in-Law's house.  I slipped while holding a glass of tea and, yes, I fell down the stairs. The rest of the family ­­­ FINE, I just lost my balance and dropped the glass.  My husband snickered because he knows how clumsy I can be, but everyone else was fine with my assertion that everything was ok….everyone except my 2-year old that is.  My toddler boldly inserts himself in the conversation and tells everyone to “WAIT…my Mommy FELL down those stairs RIGHT THERE and she fell LIKE THIS” – that’s when he goes back up the stairs and begins what turns into a live looped reenactment of my secretly not so flattering fall!!  No need for a You Tube video!  It was absolutely hilarious and made me realize that NOTHING gets past this kid.

All joking aside, as parents, teachers, counselors, social workers, and other youth-serving professionals, we should never take for granted how our words AND actions impact young people, especially those most vulnerable and at-risk.  None of us are perfect and young people KNOW THIS, so when we stumble or even fall, we must remember to show them how to persevere through difficult times, how to make tough decisions, and how to ask for help.

My immediate reaction to the fall was superficial…how do I look in this situation, how can I prove that I am really ok.  Yet, as adults, we always want kids to share, to be honest, and to listen.  Well, my toddler demanded that my true circumstances be brought to light.  And, really that’s what young people want…not to know all of our business, but to know that we care and are not judging them.  If we want young people to be open, then we must not be clouded by superficial notions of what things SHOULD look like, but be able to meet young people where they are and show our openness to what they have to say.

A few weeks ago, the SC Campaign hosted more than 350 youth-serving professionals at our 13^th annual Summer Institute, entitled Inspire, Connect, Impact.  We were grateful to have so many passionate adults willing to carve out some time to learn more about best practices in teen pregnancy prevention and other health/youth related efforts around the state and country.  Professional development opportunities like this shape our ability to effectively reach young people and to grow as mentors and role models for the next generation.

We can truly inspire, connect, and impact the lives of young people even as we constantly work our own way through the maze of life!

Kimberly Wicker is the Outreach Specialist for the SC Campaign.